Postcards from La Garde-Freinet

Ten days in the south of France

We’ll discuss ’em in a second, mmkay? The ten days, I mean. Spent. In the south. Yeah.

First, I kinda wanna just ramble on a bit about life and shizz. I’ve not properly written for a good, long while… during confinement I lost the urge to write words (I mean, what else would I be writing? I dunno.). I lost the inspiration (not to mention the motivation and drive) to do pretty much anything, really. So, here I am now. In late-July. Feeling all the feels (because, um, Taylor Swift surprise-dropped a new album yesterday and I am not okay. You guys know how I feel about miss Tay-Tay. Also, plz go listen to it if you haven’t yet. It’s so freaking good.).

I have a lot going on at the moment. Okay, so yes, I usually do anyway, given that I work and attend university all throughout the academic year. My summers, however, tend to be pretty lowkey (except for in 2018, when I worked at the Vedettes de Paris… oof… worth it for the memories… I guess…). But not this one! At least, not these past several weeks, not to mention the ones to come. Basically… I’m moving. Not very far, about 20 minutes from my current apartment, but still. Why? For several reasons, which accumulated over time. The last straw being a mini mouse infestation (a mini infestation of mice, I mean. Not of miniature mice. They’re not a thing, as far as I’m aware). So… yah. Ash is also staying with me for a couple of weeks, as he’s also between apartments (woo… moving twinsies!) and so, as you would imagine, my living space is in complete disarray. I’ve been packing and organizing shit like cray-cray and I still have about a zillion and one ‘lil tasks to accomplish before the first of August (which is, like, right around the corner??) arrives. It’s chill. It’s cool.

(It is neither chill nor cool.)

I guess I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I’m only 22, sure, but time is flying. I’ve been extra conscious of this lately. I’ve been missing Kayoon a lot, too. There are moments where I think to myself… god… it’s just so weird. That she isn’t here. So much has happened since I moved into this place. Since I threw a teeny housewarming party and she showed up with toilet paper and Toblerone bars as presents. I’ve lived through some of the most difficult days, the most trying times of my life here, what with losing her and the pandemic and confinement and all. I’m very eager to leave. There, I admitted it. More than just the mice may have played into my decision to change flats. Of course, if not for the mice I surely wouldn’t have mustered up the will to pull the trigger and go. I was woken up by one scurrying around my bedroom at 4am the other day. For reals. Ew. Just…ewwww.

I’m ready for (yet another) fresh start, I guess. Why do I seem to need one or two of these every year, guys? Is this normal? Or am I just incapable of actually sticking to something? To seeing something through? Is this constant need for change in order to discern clarity, to feel sane, something everyone can relate to? And if I crave change and blank slates so very much, then why do I also fear them as much as I do? Is this just what being in your twenties… is? Because I’m already suuuuper over it, man. It’s fucking exhausting.

Guess all I can do is keep living, keep learning as I go. And keep documenting all the things. These moments are precious. This I know all too well, what with everything that’s happened over these past couple of years. (Although the thought of someday losing all these photos makes me incredibly anxious… if my site were to disappear, if my Dropbox folders were to vanish, if my hard drives were to break… I’ve not kept the negatives of all my images, as they take up way too much space…let’s hope the internet isn’t deleted one day? That technology isn’t eradicated? Lol? Why do I worry so much about such things?)

Okay. Onto La Garde-Freinet.

This charming little French village is about a 30 minute drive from Saint-Tropez, and it’s where I was invited to briefly au-pair for the family and friends of one of my English students here in Paris. I spent ten days there speaking English and playing games with six children between the ages of 11 and 14, lounging by the pool, going for hikes and dog walks, picking fresh, ripe apricots off trees in the garden, etc.,etc., etc. before returning home to Paris two weeks ago. It truly was a lovely experience and I, of course, snapped tons of film shots while there.

Favorite moments: Seeing the cutest donkeys!!! whilst hiking in the hills, coffee with a view in the sparkling summer morning light, fruity popsicles (mango and watermelon were my faves), helping two of the kids bake a chocolate cake, sipping ice cold Coca Cola in the heart of the village, the adorable ‘lil town market on Sunday and Wednesday, an evening spent at Azur Park in Gassin.

Dat is all for right now. If you’ve read this far… I hope you liked the pictures. ♥